What To Do When Your Boss Plays Favorites

          You work hard, play by the rules, and expect to be rewarded accordingly, but when you have a boss who plays favorites (and you are on the outside), work can be a frustrating ordeal. There are ways to get beyond the favoritism shown by your bad boss and still find career success. 

           A favoritism boss is one of the most insecure types of bosses around. Their secret fear is that they are not good enough—for their job, as a person, as a boss. That means their biggest desire is to be admired by everyone, everywhere, all of the time. Since that’s never going to happen, favoritism bosses settle for those chosen few who are willing to fawn over them.

            Employees who find themselves outside of their bosses’ inner circle can give the boss the ego strokes they desire without selling out.  Make him or her feel important. You can genuinely do this by first dropping the ‘poor me’ grumblings to other employees who are also outsiders. Instead, set up a quick meeting with your boss to ask if your work is meeting his expectations. Ask for suggestions for improvement. Write everything down. You’ll be stroking your favoritism boss’s needy ego in a non-brown-nosing way. When done, thank your boss. Showing appreciation is another way of communicating that you value his opinion—just what a favoritism boss needs.

            Check in with the boss regularly, reporting on how you took his suggestions to heart and always being grateful for input. Let your boss know he is making a difference in your work. In a sense, you’re turning your boss into a mentor. By elevating your boss to this level, you are not only making him feel good about himself, you are making yourself increasingly important in his eyes. That’s a much better road to career advancement than grousing and gossiping about him and his favorites around the water cooler.

            For tips on working with specific bad boss types, go to http://www.noellenelson.com, on Facebook at www.facebook.com/GotABadBoss or at https://twitter.com/GotABadBoss.

With a Horrible Boss, Your Attitude is Everything

The release of "Horrible Bosses 2" on November 26 is a reminder that horrible bosses are still pervasive in the workplace and that nothing workers can do or say will make their bad bosses change their lousy attitude or behavior. In the real work world, it is our attitude that counts the most when it comes to keeping our sanity and being successful at work.

If you hope that your horrible boss is going to suddenly change his attitude and start treating everyone fairly and appropriately, you’ll be constantly disappointed and frustrated. Instead, it’s your own attitude that needs to change. Only when you look at your boss and your circumstances differently can you get past all the negativity and on to advancing your career.

Here are attitude adjustment suggestions to help turn things around.

 --Drop the “poor me” attitude and step up to the plate. Be there for your co-workers, help and support all of them, including the boss’s “favorites.”

--Look for solutions rather than whining about problems.

--Believe in yourself, in your abilities, in your skills and talents no matter what your bad boss says. Have faith that you can do what the job requires.

--Take the initiative. When you see an opportunity to act or contribute, do so. Offer ideas and suggestions for how to do things better.

--Always do your work well. Apply yourself to the task at hand and get it done properly.

--Do a good job because it’s satisfying to you. You won’t get an acknowledgement of good work from you bad boss so it has to come from within.

Now use this new attitude to get what you want from your bad boss. One of a bad boss’s greatest fears is that people will find out that he’s terrible at what he does. Make him look competent. Your problem-solving attitude will bail him out of mess after mess. He’ll take all the credit for your good work, which is frustrating, but he’ll also lean on you more because you’ve become valuable to him. You can ask for—and get—resources, bonuses and the support your co-workers only dream of. Not only that, but you’ll be building on your experiences and successes for the time when your boss eventually leaves or there is an opportunity to move to a better position within the company or another job opens up elsewhere.

For tips on working with specific bad boss types, go to http://www.noellenelson.com, on Facebook at www.facebook.com/GotABadBoss or at https://twitter.com/GotABadBoss.

October 16 is Boss's Day: Eight Signs of a Fantastic Boss

With Boss's Day October 16, now is a good time to celebrate all the positive things about your boss.

With so many bad bosses out there, when you have a fantastic boss, you don't want to take your boss for granted. Most people know when they are fortunate enough to have a truly special boss. October 16 is a good day to show appreciation.

Here are eight signs of an exceptional boss.

A good boss is positive, upbeat and enthusiastic about the company, its product or service, and everyone who works there.

A good boss makes sure you have the resources you need to get the job done.

A good boss doesn’t micromanage; he or she gives you guidance and trusts you to do your work well.

When there’s a problem, a good boss is into solving it, not into spreading blame.

When you do a good job, a good boss lets you know in front of others whenever possible. When you’ve messed up, a good boss doesn't berate you in public, he or she analyzes what went wrong with you in private, and helps you set goals for improvement.

A good boss reviews your career goals with you periodically and offers training or other resources that could support your chosen path.

A good boss listens, takes your comments or ideas seriously and implements them when possible and always letting you know why when it’s not possible.

A good boss doesn’t play favorites. They are fair and impartial. A good boss is not your buddy and may not join the gang for "happy hour," but you always know where you stand.

Of course, the exact opposite of everything that makes a good boss good are found in the makeup of a bad boss. If you have a bad boss, don’t fake it on Boss's Day and pretend everything is okay. It will just stroke your bad boss’s ego and make things worse. But, if you have a good boss, someone that has most (not necessarily all) of the above traits, thank your boss. Be specific about why you feel the way you do. It will make your boss realize that he or she is on the right track and will reinforce continued positive behavior.

For workers who have to face a less-than-ideal boss, tips on succeeding despite a bad boss can be found at http://www.noellenelson.com, on Facebook at www.facebook.com/GotABadBoss or at https://twitter.com/GotABadBoss.